AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! MINDBLOCK! Sorry. Continue.

A clarification on a previous post.

I am not opposed to, or against Father’s Day. I am also not angry, or full of hatred towards my own father. I was simply saying why I don’t celebrate Father’s Day. The man who is my father is not worth celebrating..

Ok, I entered the Zeldman Haiku Contest. The mark of a true Zen master is his ability to haiku with the best of ’em.

I am YOUR DJ – Who’s gonna be next?

Here’s what I’m talking about with the NS6 and NS6.1 weirdness. This is all on Win98 OS, PIII 800Mhz, 256 MB Ram.

In this first screenshot you can see how this page looks in NS6.01. It displays as intended.

The next screenshot is how it looks in NS6.1. Notice how the background pic in the lower right corner is cut off at the right and bottom edges. It seems to be getting clipped along the box edge of the content on top of it. Resizing the window gets rid of it. Refreshing the window causes it to reappear.

The next screenshot is the NS6.01 window resized to roughly half the width I started with. It looks ok but I know it’s wrong because I saw how the rest of the content flowed beneath it.

This screenshot of the NS6.1 resized window shows it displaying correctly.

Scrolling down in the NS6.01 window, you can see from the screenshot that NS6.01 has reflowed the content incorrectly.

And scrolling down in the NS6.1 window, this screenshot shows NS6.1 getting it right. Notice there is no problem with the background image. If you were to refresh the window, the clipping comes right back.

So it seems they’ve fixed some problems and introduced others. Unless it’s just me and the problem lies on my end or somewhere in the code.

If you haven’t got something nice to say…

It’s simply not something I talk about. It’s not like it’s some big family secret or something. It’s just I’ve always thought there isn’t much to say.

I don’t celebrate Father’s Day.

Why? Now there’s alot to say. Not because I don’t officially have a father. More because I don’t consider him my father anymore. And haven’t for a over a decade now. The strange part is that I now have to have dealings with him on a semi-regular basis. You see, he and I are co-guardians for my grandmother (his mother).

A little background may be in order.

Around 10-12 years ago while I was in the midst of moving to Los Angeles, my mother and father were on the verge of getting back together after a lengthy seperation. They were house-hunting for a place to start over. I was kinda happy for them. I’d thought they had worked their problems out (the problem of course was my father and his infidelity).

No more than a couple of weeks after relocating to LA, I got word that things had suddenly changed, and my father wanted a divorce. This was out of the blue, and news to everyone, including my mother. It wasn’t long after that, that the other bombshell was dropped. He was getting remarried. Not after a year or so, but in a couple of months. Most of us were dumbstruck. This, for me, was the last straw in what was a string of disappointments regarding this man. I had no more use for him. I thought about it and came to the conclusion that if he weren’t my father, and was just someone I knew, I really wouldn’t want to associate myself with him or have any dealings with him. It wasn’t hate. I didn’t hate him. But I didn’t love him either. He became nothing to me. So I wrote him off.

My grandmother (his mother) flew out to LA to ask me to come to his wedding. When my father invited us, my brother and I had both told him to drop dead. My sister is the only one who supported him, but I’m not getting into that here. I told my grandmother that there was no way I would go to his wedding, and that I was insulted that she had specifically come to visit me, just to ask me this. I didn’t particularly blame her for wanting to support him, after all it’s her son, just don’t ask me to do it. Not after the way I grew up, and with all the stuff I know about him.

Around this time (if I have things in the proper chronology), my grandfathers health was reaching the point where a nursing home was being considered for him. My grandparents had considerable assets and it was deemed wise to transfer much of it to my fathers name before any nursing home could touch it. My grandfather died before ever having to enter a nursing home. [He was much loved by me, as was my other grandfather, and if I were to celebrate any fathers on this day, it would be those two men.]

Funny thing about money. People don’t like to give it up. Especially my father. After my grandfather’s death he had a little problem turning my grandmother’s assets back over to her. He had sold her 25 acres of land, and purchased himself quite a sailboat (54 foot I think, I’ve never seen it). Land that would have eventually been passed to the grandchildren (my brother, my sister, and myself). There was also the matter of some other assets, as well as the title to her home. She went into litigation with him to have it all returned, but eventually dropped it. She became worried that he might eventually sell the house out from under her. She decided to leave it behind and move into a two family house with my sister, and her family. Now she wrote him off.

From this point on I really never saw my father. I think within the span of 10 years I ran into him 2 or 3 times. Basically because of some unavoidable family obligation. But like I said, it wasn’t hate that kept me from having a relationship with him (my brother hates him), it was indifference. I had absolutely no need for the man. He tried to send messages, or get news through my sister ’til we asked her to stop. He was putting her in an awkward position, and we didn’t want to see it continue.

My grandmother was still very active, but I believe it was her aging driving skills that led to her have a car accident not long ago. And it was after this that her health, and mental faculties took a nosedive. She needed 24 hour care. The kind of care the family couldn’t provide. And she had refused to see a couple of social workers, got herself hospitalized, and forced an issue where the state was now partly involved, as well as her doctors. The doctors were recommending she go into a nursing home (she’d been diagnosed with vascular dementia). We opted for an adult care facility. But—Who would be in control of her assets? We had to have a meeting with her lawyer, and the entire family, including my father, regarding custody of my grandmother. Rather than a lengthy battle in court, we decided on joint guardianship. My mother and father were elected to do it. My mother declined. She felt she couldn’t work with my father at all. The only other voice to step in was me. I didn’t really want to do it. In fact, if my brother had been there, he would have stepped up, and I would have stayed in the background, but it fell to me so I said ok.

Things weren’t too bad initially. We made amicable decisions where my grandmother was concerned, and basically were on the same page when it came to her care. But we are now deciding what to do with her assets, and are at an impasse. He wants one thing, and I want another. He has offered up a scenario that I cannot allow to happen, and have had to tell him that I won’t agree, and give him my reasons. One of which is, I don’t trust him. Ever have to tell your father you don’t trust him? Or just tell him NO? I am not a child, but it’s still a difficult position to be in, and it’s not easy. I see us eventually having to have this settled in court. It won’t be fun and it won’t be pretty, but the trust factor is the reason there are two of us in the first place. If he were a trustworthy human being, he’d have had my grandmother’s confidence, as well as the family’s, and we wouldn’t be questioning a thing. Sadly, that’s not the case. And it’s days like this, when I think it would be nice to have a father.

Always be a man your kids can respect. I applaud the guys I know who are fathers. My brother Phil, my friends Bob, and Bill. They are good fathers to their kids. Happy Father’s Day to them, and anyone else who takes on that responsibility with joy, and pride. The love and support you give your kids now will see them through their entire lives. Keep up the good work.

Multi-player Quake – This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while. [via kottke]

*bink bink*

While Netscape 6.1 may seem faster and more stable, it’s still acting weird, and doing some odd things with CSS. Maybe it’s just me. It usually is.

I’ve begun to call it Visafication. Where life is reduced to putting things on my Visa card. I can go anywhere, do anything, get anything, as long as I have a piece of plastic in my back pocket. I still like to think all things are possible without it, but I find myself being lulled into the security of it.

Say it loud—Say it proud

Fructooligosaccharide (FOS) – I wish someone could really explain to me what it is, cause I just drank something that had this as an ingredient. I think they used it as a sugar replacement.

*gulp*