This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. For the next [insert random number of days, hours, minutes, seconds], we will be conducting a multitude of tests on the system. If this were an actual emergency, you would have been instructed to kiss your ass good-bye. Then again, maybe not. Timing is everything.
We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.
FUCKING BROWSERS! YOU SUCK!
Oh yeah, Macs suck too. Lord Jeezus take me now!
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