This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. For the next [insert random number of days, hours, minutes, seconds], we will be conducting a multitude of tests on the system. If this were an actual emergency, you would have been instructed to kiss your ass good-bye. Then again, maybe not. Timing is everything.

We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.

FUCKING BROWSERS! YOU SUCK!

Oh yeah, Macs suck too. Lord Jeezus take me now!