I would have thought that someone besides myself would have broken this story by now. He may have been able to fool all of you, but not me, and since no one has stepped up to tell the truth to the public, my duty is clear. Vin Diesel is really Andrew Dice Clay.

Lying in wait with a faded comedy career and a bad acting career behind him, the Diceman has reinvented himself as a new generation action star by shedding a few pounds and shaving his head.
Both born in New York (conincidence?), the tell-tale signs are there for all to see if you are just willing to look beyond the Hollywood hype. There is the penchant for guns…

[ed.—Extra bonus points if you noticed that both men are holding the gun in their left hand.]
and tweed/wool hats.

High doses of HGH may have done wonders for Clay in the aging department, but the bad acting still shines through to unmask this charade. The similarity in movie projects are uncanny. Take Ford Fairlane and The Fast and the Furious for example. Not only did both movies suck, but the use of alliteration in both titles hints at Clay’s contempt for the public, daring people to catch him. The plot may have been updated for a new generation, but it’s just vanity that makes Clay think he can update himself and get away with it.

The name change isn’t fooling anyone Clay, Diesel, or whatever you’re calling yourself these days. Not while I’m around.